Loving A Hidden God
FREEDOM FROM THE BODY
How many evils are caused by our craving for the "pleasures of the flesh"? It is the root of adultery and fornication, dissipation and drunkenness. It is the source of all those things that illicitly pleasure the senses and poison the mind with their toxic sweetness. The result is that the spirit becomes the slave of the body, the master becomes subordinate to the servant. In such a condition how can anyone live an upright life when their inner self is so upside down?
Sermon 313a, 2
Augustine spoke the words above when he was 45 and probably having a bad day. It was only 13 years after his conversion and perhaps the old lusts that had so dominated his life when he was young were still recurring. He would be the first to agree that the so-called "pleasures of the flesh" can sometimes take over our lives. Remembering the days of his youth when he was "in love with love" (Confessions, 3.1), he would observe:
Sexual passion sometimes does not just affect the body. At times it takes complete control of the whole man, both physically and emotionally. It causes the most intense erotic pleasure, a pleasure which at the peak of its ecstasy practically paralyzes all power of deliberation.
City of God, 14.16.
Growing old does not dim this desire, only the possibility of its fulfillment. The old Augustine told the story of an 84 year old man who had lived piously with his wife for 25 years, but then suddenly took up with a young lyre player to satisfy his desire. (Against Julian, 3.11.22) The implication was that he was more interested in playing than in her playing. Such examples and his own experience prompted Augustine to warn his listeners:
If we had our way there would but no lustful desires, but we simply can't manage it just now. Whether we will it or not, we have them. Whether we will it or not, they excite, entice, goad, and pester us as they struggle to surface. They can be held in check, but they can never be extinguished as long as "the flesh lusts against the spirit and the spirit against the flesh". (Galatians, 5: 17)
Sermon 128, 9
At 45 Augustine was most likely beginning to feel the effects of his age. He had never been terribly healthy and now that he had reached middle age the aches and pains of living in his increasingly old body were probably increasing. The urge to be free of his failing body was becoming more persistent. He like all of us who have come to age, longed for the freedom that would allow him to run into the future unhampered by the demands of his flesh.
It was not that he thought that his body was an evil appendage, some sort of cancer on the spirit, which threatened to kill him for all eternity. He believed that the greatest need for resurrection was that we simply could not be happy for all eternity if we were not all together, body and soul. Heaven is not being finally released from the body but having a body that is our friend. (Sermon 155, 14.15) He looked forward to the day when his purified body would be able to leap and run freely through the meadows of eternity. Even now, anyone who claimed that they would be happier without their body was just crazy. (Sermon 141, 7.7) Even in its somewhat present decrepit condition, the body has its own sort of nobility. Augustine remarks:
Although our body is like that of any other great beast in its dying and is weaker than many others in its living, it still proclaims the goodness and foresight of the Creator. Other animals are bent over towards the ground but we humans are made to walk upright so that we can look to the heavens. How great the soul must be considering how well-formed is its bodily receptacle!
City of God, 22.24
It is thus proper that our purification should begin at home, with our body. We must begin journey towards God by overcoming what Augustine called concupiscence of the flesh. "Concupiscence" taken by itself has a neutral meaning. It means only desire and desire can be good or bad. It does not refer strictly to bodily desires nor does it imply that every desire of the body must be suppressed. Emotional reaction to the pleasant and unpleasant in life (the feeling of love or fear, ecstasy or agony) is part of being human. Apathy is not the ideal state for the human being; controlled fervor is. Even when the phrase "concupiscence of the flesh" has a negative connotation, it refers not to a perverse longing of the body but to a disordered choice of the will. (Against Julian the Heretic, 3.9.18)
The true obstacle to our perfection is not concupiscentia, simple desire. It is the libido or lust by which we prefer any earthly good (and not simply bodily pleasure) to eternal goods. (On Lying, 7.10) It is this lust that causes a human being to enjoy any creature with such exclusive passion that God is ignored. (On Christian Doctrine, 3.10.16) Although the phrase "the flesh lusts" may sometimes refer to sexual desire, it can refer to any area where desire is out of control. (City of God, 14.15)
Because we are "cracked", the temptation to go overboard in seeking to "feel good" will be with us as long as we live and often it is hard to overcome. Dreaming of physical pleasure sometimes holds our attention more powerfully than quiet meditation on wisdom. On most days sexual fulfillment seems so much easier to achieve than the joy that comes from a complex balanced love of friendship. On most days, the pleasures of good food and good drink are more immediate and easier to achieve than the joy of solving a problem in geometry. On most days the aroma of a well-cooked meal seems more enticing than a life of harsh asceticism. There is a certain pleasure in doing a noble act of self-sacrifice, but more often the pleasure of a long nap seems more attractive.
In an odd way our immoderate "fleshy" desires sometimes seem to be part of our natural wish for life, meaning and love. For example, we can mistakenly believe that our thirst for life begins and ends with physically "feeling good", not being hungry or thirsty or in pain. We may make the mistake of believing that our thirst for meaning can be satisfied by an accumulation of things. And, sad to say, some of our promiscuous adventures, our frequent and fleeting sexual relationships, are our pitiful attempts to find true love. But, whatever the noble underlining force that drives them, our unruly desires for the pleasure and things of earth stand in the way of our search for God. The impetuous exercise of our "concupiscence of the flesh" must be controlled for us to make progress.
The sad fact of this life is that in order to be free of the body and the things that make it feel good, we must sometimes rein it in. As Augustine writes:
Why is it of benefit to abstain sometimes from food and from physical comfort? The reason is this: our flesh tends downward; our spirit tends upwards. Our spirit is drawn to the heavens by love but it is slowed down by the weight of its body. Thus our fleshy desires are like earthy luggage which is a load on the soul. Such ballast must be cast off if we are to rise unfettered to the heavens. This is what we do when we fast.
The Usefulness of Fasting, 2.
Our soul must exercise control over our body. (Sermon 169, 1) It is not that they are two antithetical forces inside us. It is only together that they form our "us" and they serve each other in various ways. For example, the body serves our spirit when it experiences a dramatic sunset which hits at eternal beauty; our soul serves its body by taking care of its reasonable needs day after day. The demands of the body must sometimes be restrained because we have only a limited amount of energy which needs to be disbursed judiciously to serve the needs of both body and spirit. Too much exuberance in pursuing the pleasures of the body may exhaust us.
Augustine believed that when we limit the fulfillment of the joys of our body, there is the chance that we will develop even more joy in the spirit, replacing lust for a lover with true love, replacing drunkenness with the intoxication of understanding what is true and what is good, overcoming boredom not by dulling the mind with fantasy but by reflecting on the list of the truly good things in life, things like good health, good friends, the promise of immortality, and the assurance of the grace of God in our struggle in life. (The Usefulness of Fasting, 5)
A sensible denial of bodily demands can expand the space in our "self" for greater goods. We are stretched by our unfulfilled desire and gain a greater capacity for the good that we truly need. (The Usefulness of Fasting, 1) When we are "filled up" with earthy goods that will not last, we lose our desire for anything beyond them. Full to the brim with Thanksgiving turkey, we are not likely then to turn to God in prayer.
This does not mean that we should ignore our body's needs. (On Christian Doctrine, 1.26.27). In my experience it is hard to do philosophy or theology on an empty stomach and when a person's stomach is empty for too long it becomes impossible to do anything at all. To die of starvation is not the way of the cross that Christ spoke about. It is entirely natural and worthwhile for our bodies to seek those goods necessary to preserve life on earth. It is natural for our spirits to seek heavenly goods that are infinite and permanent. Our problem comes not from our desires for such different things. Our troubles come from the "cracked" machinery (our mind and free will) through which we desire and pursue such things.
This is the reason why our appetites are sometimes in conflict. Even assuming that our spirit knows that it is meant for heaven and has some recognition of the way to get there, our body remains like a young horse prancing here and there following any and all delights that tempt it to wander from the right path. Because of the wildness of our appetites, we must train them for useful service as one might train young colts, using reins that are neither too slack nor too firm, restraints that channel their natural vigor towards the good. (Confessions, 10.31.47; The Usefulness of Fasting, 3.3)
Of course the difference between us and straying horses is that in our case the wandering is not the fault of our steed (our body) but of our spirit. It is not so much the horse that needs correction as it is the rider who freely chooses either to let his body drag him wherever it wishes or destroys his faithful friend by undue beatings and denial of true needs.
The practice of denial is needed more by the soul than by the body. The troubles that come into our lives are caused not by our bodily urges but by our spirit's consent. Sin is not in the inclination but in giving in to the inclination. (On Continence, 2.3) Sin is not in the desires of the body; it is in the choice of our spirit to seek satisfaction of those desires in some untoward way.
Whatever our ascetic practices may be, they are not as important as what is happening inside us. No matter how virtuous our activities may appear to others, no matter how others wonder at the severity of our ascetic life, it has no value if charity is lacking. Augustine puts it plainly:
How can your fast (or your abstinence) have any good effect if you ignore your fellow human being?
The Usefulness of Fasting, 5
We are meant to have bodies as much as we are meant to have souls. The Christian teaching on resurrection tells us this. Christianity also tells us that in heaven, when our now glorious body is united with its shining spirit, things will be just fine. But just now things are not always so fine. Our imagination sometimes will sweep over our spirits with suggestions, fantasies, and dreams that we are ashamed to admit even to ourselves. Our body is still a friend but it is a rambunctious friend that will need cautious care as long as we are here. As Augustine warns:
While our body moves along shakily in this life, while it is still burdened with the weight of day by day existence, it will sometimes have moments of rebellion. Only then will it be truly dangerous to our spirit.
The Usefulness of Fasting, 3
For most of us riding through time on this rowdy steed that is our body, a "friendly asceticism" is a highly recommended practice lest we fall off the right path. Through purification of our inordinate "fleshy" lusts, our body and we ourselves will be free to ride into the sunset ... or better, free to ride to meet the Risen Son.